29 March 2007
clementine
I am so glad the schoolweek is over. I had a bad case of indifferentitis in regards to doing homework... quite a few of my friends have also been in a funk recently. Late-March, early April is definitely the most rut-prone time of the semester. It's beautiful outside, everyone's sick of school, let it be summer! That being said, this morning I momentarily forgot that it is the end of post-Spring Break week number 2, not number 1. It does fly by.
On Monday morning I went hiking with some friends before class in the mountains that border Claremont. We left at 8am and the streets "down on earth" were being serenaded by a grey mist, but nothing compared to on the trail. You couldn't see the other mountains at all, nor the trail more than 500 feet behind or in front of you. It was so cool... we could have been hiking in China or Peru or Switzerland, you just forgot you were in Southern California. By the time we got back to school the fog had cleared, but it was still chilly all day. And now, at the end of the week, it's warm and sunny. The weather is so funny.
My mom and English grandma are coming tomorrow for the weekend! I'm excited. The colleges are closed tomorrow for Cesar Chavez Day, the only holiday we get this semester other than Spring Break. Cesar Chavez, of all days. That tells you a bit about where I go to school.
I'd love to retreat for a week or two to somewhere beautiful, without a computer or a newspaper so I wouldn't know what was going on in the world at all. How nice that would be.
My most favorite place in the world, July 2005.
25 March 2007
sprinkles
Happy birthday figandflower! Oh, how we've evolved together this last year. Here's to the next one!
I've had a fair week, I'd say. The weather has been beautiful - 70 degrees, sunny, cloudy, breezy, skirts, flip flops, air-dried hair. I love southern California right now. Work-wise, this semester's classes blend in a way that makes each week pass at a pretty steady pace, so there's no variety - or stress - there. I like getting back into a routine after an unscheduled week of vacation, and it's nice to move along with my mostly interesting subject matter. A month ago I developed shin splits from running, and since I've been back at school I've been going on a fast-paced hour-long walk almost every day which feels wonderful. I saw an excellent, excellent German film on Thursday called The Lives of Others (Das Leben der Anderen). It was heartbreaking, and one of the best films I've ever seen. On Friday I had my first rehearsal for a Gregorian Chant performance on Good Friday in which I'm singing with a small group of my fellow choir members. It's funny because I'm not Christian or religious but I love Gregorian Chants; they're ancient and hauntingly beautiful. The conductor, who has grown on me this semester, is so knowledgeable about music and during rehearsal he threw in all these interesting facts about the monks who sung the same exact Latin words a thousand years ago. This weekend has been low-key (i.e. non-alcoholic) which will be the trend for the rest of the semester since I've decided not to drink for the time being... so I've been getting lots of sleep and feeling great, which is a wonderful alternative to a hangover. Today I had brunch with friends, talked to my Dad, made plans, did some work in a cafe in the Village where a cute Pomona guy who I have a fake crush on happened to be studying also, and then went on a gorgeous walk. I always develop a better mood during and after walking... both the world and my life seem so much more hopeful.
Yesterday, Saturday, I took the train into downtown Los Angeles to see an exhibit at The Geffen Contemporary at MOCA, one of the three locations for LA's Museum of Contemporary Art. The exhibit was called Andrea Zittel: Critical Space. Andrea Zittel is a contemporary installation artist who uses the concept of space and surroundings to create these really cool alternate living situations. It's kind of hard to explain, as goes contemporary art, but it paralleled my own interests because I'm fascinated by the way humans function within, utilise and waste space in different environments around the world. Just as exciting as the exhibit was the mode of transportation I used to get there. I love trains, and I have not ever been on a train in the West because the time that most cities here flourished coincided with the increasing popularity of the automobile, and therefore good public transportation was rarely established. It was so strange to look out the window and see palm trees and mountains, because I'm only used to travelling amongst the concrete buildings, graffiti, green fields, and trees of the East Coast and of Europe. The ride from Claremont to Union Station, the hub of LA's train system, takes just under an hour - the same time as driving - and you can read or do homework or relax, a wonderful alternative to the stress that accumulates when you are the one navigating LA's freeway system. From Union Station I took the Metro Red Line one stop to Civic Center. I was completely unaware until recently that LA had a (small, but still existent) subway system, developed during the 1990s. Six routes fan out in a star-like shape from Union Station through the San Fernando Valley, Hollywood, Long Beach, the South Bay, LAX, and Pasadena, and there is also an extensive bus system, which I haven't used yet but my parents say is very good. It was a quiet Saturday afternoon and I assume the metro is frequented mostly Monday-Friday, but the station wasn't at all sketchy - it was clean, informative (tons of maps), spacious and only $1.25 per ride, although I guess it's free on the weekends because you didn't need a ticket to ride but I bought one before I figured this out. MOCA is in Little Tokyo and I'm so glad I drew a little map because the metro station is a 15-minute walk from the museum and while there are lots of city-issued signs every few blocks showing a map marking interesting places within the vicinity, at first there was no mention of MOCA at all. So, I walked down 1st street past the LA Times building and the Law Library, past a few towering buildings, grassy plazas and small shops, and suddenly I was passing Japanese restaurants and old Asian women hobbling down the street. And then there was MOCA. I love that LA is accessible and low-key, and I love its cosmopolitanness and mixed architecture and the balance between high-rises and low buildings. There are so many little neighborhoods with different characters around every corner, AND it's generally warm and sunny. Love! I was talking to my Dad today and found out that when I was a baby, we lived just east of Beverly Hills in a middle-class multiethnic neighborhood near a Sikh temple, a big Jewish community and many African-American families. I've seen the house once before a few years ago, and it is cute, perfect for a young couple with small children. I like cities in which you can live comfortably yet still be close to the hopping places, even if you're not a millionaire. I'm excited to spend the next two years getting to know LA.
Well, I should say the next year-and-a-half, actually, because next spring I will be studying abroad. And I finally decided where I'm going and you'll all be shocked because I haven't talked about my change-of-heart here, but I'm going to be at the University of Edinburgh! I'm kind of tired of explaining why, but the short version is that I want to have excellent Art History classes, I won't be ready in nine months to take classes in French, I want to be integrated into a university rather than be an independent study-abroad program with separate facilities and professors, and because I am interested in developing meaningful relationships with cities instead of having short-lived ones with places I'll probably never visit again. I know England well, and Scotland is also part of the UK but it's a country I have only visited once. It will be cool to live in a British but quite unfamiliar locale for a few months. And the University's Art History program is excellent - I applied to it as a transfer last winter and was accepted, but at the time I wasn't certain of my major and didn't want to commit. Funny how that's working out! I'm happy with my decision, and now I get to spend the next four months jumping through the many stages of paperwork! It won't be official until July or August.
I just spent the last two hours with my friend Carolyn gushing about Scripps to a prospie and her mom. The girl is a junior at my high school and a good friend of my brother. And I got a delicious meal out of it! This Sunday has been much more pleasant than usual.
19 March 2007
back
I'm back at school, somewhat grudgingly. I'm ready for summer; I'm tired of the cloistered collegiate life here. I shouldn't be excited to see middle-aged suited men (albeit professors, but better than my neverending peers) sitting outside the Motley. After being "re-exposed" (as if I were a hermit!) to life outside of college for the last ten days, I rather liked what I saw. But since I can't do anything about it, here I am, and thankfully in a better mood than last night. I enjoyed seeing my professors again, checking my mailbox to find seven letters from my french penpals, being invigorated in Art History, and pulling my sleeves down with my fingers because of the chilly weather. There are always things to complain about, but there are always things to be happy about too.
It's now fourth quarter, as my high school called it, with seven weeks left until finals. And when claustrophobia hits, on the weekends I retreat into Los Angeles with its bountiful offerings. One of my 2007 goals is, homework aside, to visit a museum every week: LACMA, MOCA Geffen, MOCA Architecture & Design, Laguna Art Museum, Pacific Asia Museum, a wild card, and maybe my beloved Norton Simon one more time. Let's have a worthwhile fourth quarter.
Monument Valley, March 2005.
14 March 2007
giorni
I really want to stay up until 2:30am because then I will have been up for 24 hours straight!
I woke up at 5:30am in a small room on the 9th floor of an apartment building in the East Village of Manhattan (population density = 67,000 people/sq. mile), bounced along in a yellow cab headed to JFK by means of bridges and tunnels while it still looked like night outside, watched the giant glowing orange sun rise at 7am as I sat facing east in gate 8 of Terminal 3, flew with 150 sardines strangers on an airplane headed to Phoenix, sat in the window seat F of row 28 and marveled at the beauty of the land and novelty of perception from 35,000 feet, was in Arizona before the afternoon began, freed my covered skin and changed into a skirt, smiled under the cloudless sky as my brother, sister and I wrapped ourselves in the warmth of the day with all the space we could want, watched the fiery sun set as my mom drove us westward at 6:30pm, ran an errand in the car along wide open roads lit only by my headlights, and now I'm exploring the world on my computer.
interesting places as of late:
13 March 2007
confirmations
I'm in New York City! I've been here for three and a half days, and I've been to the Met, the Frick, the Natural History Museum and the Guggenheim. I've eaten Chinese, Middle Eastern, Ethiopian and Indian food. I've not slept for one night, and slept well for the next two. I've ridden the 6 subway up and down Manhattan more times than I can count, and I've been mistaken for a New Yorker. I've had interesting insight into how I think of the city and a change in my previously full-blown desire to live here after college. I love New York, but I miss seeing the wide open sky and the sun every day. It's cool to see how my attitude about cities and the East Coast and the West evolve each time I visit this place. And I've had a tiny glimpse into what it might be like to be a student at NYU and in New York... and while it's different, expensive and exhilarating, I like the life I'm living just fine for now, and I'm happy to re-enter it tomorrow!
09 March 2007
phlegm
I'm home!
Unfortunately, I can't really breathe; the cold that hit me on Sunday is now in full-blown-siege mode. From the neck down I feel fine - I wish I could go for a run - but my head aches, my throat is raw from coughing, and my sinuses are completely blocked. Lovely. Just in time for break! They say you shouldn't eat dairy when you're sick because it creates mucus (of which I'm creating more than enough right now), but what about yogurt? It has so many friendly bacteria cultures...
I'm finishing up the two papers due today at 5pm. One sign of having the right major is actually enjoying (as much as it is possible) writing papers in the subject. I'm comparing Chartres Cathedral and the Great Mosque at Cordoba, and also Donatello's Bronze David and his Judith and Holofernes. We spent the week learning about Renaissance Italy, and it was especially fun when we studied Florence because it's always more interesting to learn about places to which you've been.
Florence at sunset, summer 2006, from Via Michelangelo.
08 March 2007
painful
T-minus 3.5 hours. I have a bad cold that is preventing me from breathing, so I hardly slept last night and spent most of the hours I was awake sitting in weird positions making disturbing mangled stuffy-nose sounds, praying that the sun would rise soon so it would be today. And it is, and now there's a bit more I have to do. Other than the shower, laundry, and studying that I've been doing for three hours already.
Here is an interesting NYTimes article about attempts to create a perfume that embodies our generation. Technosexual, anyone?
Ok, in five minutes I go to my most boring class and try to stay with the boring discussions about the most mundane details of ancient women's lives... and then I have a French exam which will be quite hard, I know, and then finally I'm free. Lunch, check tire pressure, skedaddle.
The funny thing is, I'm not dying to go home like I have at other breaks. I just want to be done with constantly catching up with things that should have been done twelve hours before they actually get done.
07 March 2007
ace
Okay. I don't publicly rock most things, at least academically. I'm not someone who regularly gets A+ on things and it's not common for me to get every question right on an exam, and that's fine. Really, I don't care about my grades. I care if I'm learning and being stimulated and motivated to learn by myself. That is the mark of a successful class, in my opinion. Who cares what some teacher thought I deserved? But anyway. I will say that I rocked my Microecon midterm. 29/30 baby! Heehee.
07 March 2007
procrastination
It's 9am and I'm sitting in my pajamas on my bed, trying to work on my midterm paper. The smell of hamburgers (?) is wafting through my open windowscreen. When I woke up at 7, it was grey and drowsy outside and it is still grey now, but a bright grey, almost white. T-minus 28 hours until takeoff! I'm getting really excited to go home, even though I will inevitably still have to tune up these papers Thursday night and Friday morning. And do my Econ problem set. (Despite my optimism, I'm pretty sure they won't be done by tomorrow at noon. I am proud of myself for at least starting these babies five days before they are due, but it's still only half-worth it because I don't really get cracking until I feel the pressure of the deadline. Thursday night will be a perfect time to finish them up because I'll have 24 hours left -- and at least both papers will be complete first drafts by then. Honestly, they're only three to four pages each. Hardly anything.) And anyway, it doesn't matter, since I'll be home! It's been hot here the last few days, like 80 degrees, and while it's not ideal (it's MARCH!) it is wonderful to go outside at night and feel the silky, cooled wisps of the warm day. It reminds me of home, of the desert, of the scent of the air in the early morning. I just want today to be over, so it will be tomorrow and I will pack, go to class, eat lunch and drive. I'm excited for: my family, my house, my dog, Pita Jungle's hummus and their Grilled Vegetable Salad, Camelview, no homework (after Friday), driving around a place I know like the back of my hand, Ali, Andrea, [New York City, Danielle, museums, cold weather], flip flops, good home-cooked food that is not eaten on a tray, the visible mountains, the cloudless sky, and being able to drink water from a tap. You know, home is underrated. I'm a fan. I'm a fan of Arizona too. Long live the Grand Canyon State.
05 March 2007
uppsala
Boo! It's Monday! Well, not for much longer.
I was kind of a slacker today, seeing as I'm still recovering from Saturday night (the process is almost finished!). I skipped my first two classes, although I didn't gain any extra sleep since I got up at 7:30 and was out the door by 9am. I just sort of wandered around, tried to wake up my body, drank a lot of coffee, wished I had a good novel to read since I didn't really have any work with me that I could do without my laptop and an internet connection, and it wasn't until I showed up to Art History that I got back into the rhythm of Monday. It was a weird day. Luckily I've spent the last four hours amassing quite a bit of research for the two shortish papers due Friday, and I've even started one of them. I love my Art History class in basically every way possible - even for papers, my professor doesn't want five pages of cited opinions of scholars with a bibliography, he wants our own analysis of what we find important about the subject... supported, if necessary, by sources, but without direct quotes, only references. This is very freeing in that I don't need to have stacks of dusty, ancient books and Post-It-marked pages surrounded me, just some brilliant photographs/prints and a clear mind. I want to have the papers emailed in by Wednesday night since I don't want to be working on them at home on Thursday night (I could do this, but how awful would that be?). I'm going to spend the whole of tomorrow afternoon getting the bulk of the two papers done, with revisions on Wednesday. I will be so excited when on Thursday I can finally lock myself into my little car and get onto the I-10 East for a contemplative road trip home and look forward to the little holiday next week.
From this awesome little bakery in the Village I ordered a chocolate cake with gananche and ganache and more ganache to celebrate Catherine and Keri's completion of the LA Marathon yesterday. They are insane, but I love them. Tomorrow night we're going to have a little soiree in their room with cake and wine, so at least that will be a nice break in the work-week!
Hmmm, anything else? I guess not.
Oh yeah, I love accents. In choir today a visiting conductor from Sweden co-ran the rehearsal, and I died every time he said these adorable sayings.
04 March 2007
photobooth
Fun PSICA choir festival last night. Saw Elizabeth Matson by chance, as she was in the LMU choir.
Fun 80s dance party at Pomona last night -- it's one of their biggest of the year. Drank a lot with my friends beforehand, but not too much yes, actually quite a bit. The party was packed and tucked into the night's repertoire were the five 80s songs I know ("Sunglasses at Night", "Jessi's Girl", "You Shook Me All Night Long", "I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight" and "I Want You To Want Me") which was nice because I was able to join my fellow partiers in screaming the lyrics at the top of our lungs. I wore green leggings, a yellow polka-dot t-shirt, a pink holey sweatshirt, and Converses. Side ponytail, of course. Blue eyeliner. Sweet!
Two short midterm papers for Art History due by next Friday... kind of a bummer since it's the last week of school before Spring Break, and it'd be nice to have nothing important to do this week.
But this also means I'm going home in four days! And then to New York!
It's sunny and 75 degrees.
Most of last night is a blur of jumping, singing, looking around me at strangers' faces, needing air and water, and keeping Eva on two feet. And then there was that guy...
26 February 2007
recall
I can't wait for February to be over. I don't really like February. And we're in the 20s, and I really dislike the 20s. Two more days until it's the first again!
Today has been an excellent day, considering it's Monday.
I actually didn't do laundry this morning because the alarm went off at 8:15 and I decided it better to just crack the blinds, let the morning light brighten my room, and doze for an hour. Then I washed my face, made coffee, ate yogurt with honey, read the New York Times online, got dressed, and brushed my teeth. Such an accomplished morning! Cleaned, dressed, fed, informed. Well, that happens every morning, but I love when it happens in a clear, organized way - boom, boom, boom, boom. It was 65 degrees and cloudy today, but no rain - I love this kind of weather: cold enough for layers but no need for an umbrella. French class was fun, as usual. Lunch was terrific - I love Malott's lentil soup, and the olive baguette slices were soft and warm, not hard and crusty like they sometimes are. My afternoon classes went well too, and even choir was a positive experience. Choir is my fourth class of the day, so sometimes by the time it comes around I'm very tired of sitting in chairs and having to pay attention for hours and hours. It's also an hour and a half, the longest of all my classes. But today we had a good rehearsal, since we're now past the initial introductions to pieces and are perfecting small details, so the songs flow well which makes them fun to sing. I had dinner with everyone, checked the Motley to see if they had vegan cookies (negative) so I decided to have some nice dark chocolate back in my room. Having been gone for eight hours, I checked email, blogs and the news (God, what a tech-child I am) and then washed and dried my laundry while doing French homework. I also vacuumed my floor since it needed a good clean, and I wiped down all wooden surfaces (my desk and little table). Keri came by to get some blank CDs, and since we were both going to run tonight I asked her if I could accompany her outside, since it was 9:30pm and therefore very dark, and running on a stationary machine in the gym wasn't very appealing. She's running the LA Marathon on Sunday and is supposed to cut back on distance this week, so we ran 3.5 miles together (! so good for me) and she went another 1.5 miles alone. It was such a nice temperature outside, and running with a friend makes the time go by faster and the distance not seem as long. So now I am high on endorphins and feeling great. Both my clothes and my room are all clean, my homework is almost done, I'll sleep well tonight having physically exerted myself, and there's the thought of a nice shower and a yummy breakfast to look forward to tomorrow morning!
God, I love life.
25 February 2007
chapstick
I've never been to San Diego, but I can't say this anymore because I have now spent a few days in that cute little city (well, 30 hours to be exact). Carolyn's house was our homebase since she's lucky enough to live there. I drove down Saturday morning, meeting up with everyone else who arrived the night before. I walked in the door to find my friends in pajamas and finishing brunch, so we spent a few hours lounging around on sofas and beds watching the Food Network, of all things. Later in the afternoon we went with Carolyn's mom to the San Diego Museum of Art, which is the only West Coast stop for the world-famous exhibition of Annie Leibovitz photographs from her latest book. For dinner, we made chicken tacos/burritos at her house and during the meal I laughed so hard with everyone that my stomach ached. Her grandparents brought over Italian cookies and fudge, and we spent the night eating desserts and watching movies. Today we slept in (joy! my first time this whole week) and hung out, and just before it closed we stopped at San Diego Zoo's Wild Animal Park on the way home and rode the train around the natural habitats of bored wild animals. It was a fun little trip, and it was nice to get out of Claremont for a few days. Now I have a bit of homework to do, but once it's done I think I'm going to be going to bed pretty early. I hope so, I'm tired! I have to do my laundry before class tomorrow since the machines are always full on Sunday nights and I have no underwear left.
From last weekend, me and my best friends after the big family dinner that I arranged:
L-R: Catherine, Carolyn, Hilary, Eva, Keri and me. That's my gang!
23 February 2007
pareils
Snow-capped mountains from my bedroom window. (There is a plus to all the rain!)
22 February 2007
go
Wew! I got back from the gym half an hour ago; strange I know, I rarely work out this late, but at 9pm I had a lot of unspent energy and I decided to put it to good use. I ran three miles, and while I generally run further on a treadmill than outside (the ground doesn't move for you outside... and I push myself really hard on the treadmill since I have all the data in front of me. Five more minutes! Thirty more calories!), three miles is still good for me. I'm at two-and-a-half outside, so maybe next time I can push it and go an extra half-mile. This week has been kind of blah. I had a headache on and off, and I never get headaches, and my lower back has been aching a bit, which never happens, and I have been really tired and wanting to sleep more than I usually do, which also never happens. This plus some schoolwork has kept me from exercising, and with my parents in town last weekend, I haven't run in a week. This is terrible! Terrible! So I was going to go this afternoon just before sunset (my time) but it was cold, rainy and miserable today and going outside to slog myself through the elements wasn't very appealing. I don't like treadmills, but I had a feeling I'd end up on one tonight after dinner, and I was right. And it's amazing how much better I feel after exhausting myself physically. When I don't exercise for a while, even if I eat less food to compensate, I still feel kind of bloated and gross. I'm one of those people who has to exercise regularly to look and feel well. And now I feel completely physically and mentally cleansed (even though I'm really dirty - I haven't showered in a while because on Tuesday, the day I would have showered, I got my hair cut and colored, and therefore washed, so I didn't need to shower. I don't smell or anything, I promise. And one should wait until the last possible moment to wash freshly-dyed - it's the same color, same length - hair since it's best to let it "set" for a few days). My breaths are long and clear, the skin on my legs feels tight and lean, my heart is slowing down, but still beating solidly and proudly, and I'm so happy and calm. I love the post-exercise feeling. And I feel like I've worked harder when I run on the treadmill versus running outside. Last spring I described what I do after a hard workout:
30 March 2006My post-workout ritual is to drop everything on my desk, take off my shoes and socks and for five minutes, lie on the floor on my back with my feet flat on the ground and arms above my head. My heart is still beating really fast and I lie in silence, breathing fast, listening to my heart pump and feeling the blood pulse through my veins. It's similar in purpose to the resting position you do at the end of a yoga class. And then I feel good for the rest of the night!
Yep. Still the same, but I haven't done it much at Scripps because I'm not like completely exhausted when I run outside. (This is also because I walk for a while on the way back, and the air cools me down enough so that when I get back to my room, I'm ready to shower.) But I love feeling completely spent - I can't do a girly workout on the bike with all my hair still in place by the end. It's got to be all-out or nothing.
I'm so glad it is Thursday night. I have work tomorrow morning (it's fine; boring Excel/filing/shredding stuff, but I get paid and it's only 6 hours a week) and then the whole afternoon free! Ideally, I will do all my French homework, do the two Economics problem sets online that are due tomorrow night, and... what else? Ah yes, read some interesting stuff on the Renaissance Florence. I love my Art History class, you guys. Every time I'm in class, I think how right it feels that I'm there. It's so fascinating, and my professor is the coolest guy ever. Love love love love.
I'm a new member of International Pen Friends because I wanted someone to write to in French regularly, and I love letters (as most of you know), and the world is so great and I want to meet more people who live in it with me. So I applied, paid $22, and the other day, received a list of fourteen names of people my age who live in France and Belgium who want to correspond in French and/or English. I spent twenty-four hours tirelessly editing a standard letter (in French) that I copied out fourteen times, painted in white-out as I found little mistakes every few hours, and today I sent off fourteen letters to Europe. I'm so excited to hear back from people! It's a crap shoot, but it'd be fun to develop a few postal relationships. And who knows, I may end up engaged like Maria!
Tonight I helped Catherine and Keri de-loft a bed, and then we ate dinner at CMC, and then hung out at the Motley drinking mochas and eating vegan cookies (I'm not vegan, nor vegetarian, but they sell these pretty good healthy vegan cookies) and then we went back to their room and sprawled ourselves on the third bed, entangled in each other, and talked about chocolate and sex. Basically my perfect night. Friends, coffee, cookies, exercise.
The cold sweat on the back of my shirt has now chilled my body enough to make me shiver, so I'm going to have a delicious shower (so excited!) and cozy up in bed with... a book? Ooooh!
19 February 2007
love
I'm feeling disoriented because today is Monday, and I had class today, but my parents just left a few hours ago. Whenever I'm with my family I don't feel like I'm at school, and even though they came to classes with me I was so amused watching them enjoy the professors and subject that it just didn't feel like a school day. So it feels like Sunday, but tomorrow is Tuesday. That's a good thing, I guess, but it also means that the paper due tomorrow that I wanted to write last Thursday and didn't get written because I had an excellent three-hour conversation with Eva instead must now be written by me, right now. And it's for Women in Antiquity, a class I really don't care for and am only still in because it fulfills two gen-ed requirements. The prof has shown her weaknesses to us and I bet I'm not the only one who thinks less of her than before. So I don't care about the class or what she thinks of me or any of that, and so I just have to get this paper printed out and done so I can go to bed, I don't care if it's that good, but I just don't want to write it. It's a five page paper of my opinion about any reading we've had so far, which doesn't seem terrible except for stretching out my opinion for two-and-a-half full pages. I am a concise thinker. I hate rambling, especially when I'm just doing it to lengthen a paper. Maybe I'll turn in four pages, just because. In happier news, I got back the Art History paper I wrote last week and my professor liked it! We have a re-write opportunity and there was no grade, but his comments are more valuable to me than an arbitrary capital letter. So I'm really happy about that, especially because I worked extremely hard on that paper.
It was great fun having my parents visit for the weekend. And we did a LOT of fun things. We weren't on campus too much... two meals on Saturday, a speech by our president, two classes today. Other than that, we saw one of my brother's hockey games (a weekend tournament) in Long Beach, saw Letters From Iwo Jima, had breakfast with family friends, had a nice chat with other family friends, ate at several places in the Village, and I organized a big dinner last night with my five closest friends and their parents. It was nice for me to be off-campus for a while, to not have to drive my car (my dad did), and to hang out with them all day. I love my parents. They're really cool people and I really enjoy being with them. I hope that I live near them when I'm older. Family has become more and more important to me as I've been in college and at the end of the day, being around people you love is the most important thing. It doesn't matter if you live in the coolest neighborhood in New York or London or Paris if you don't have anyone near you who understands you and loves you.
I can't believe that in two and a half weeks I'm driving home for Spring Break (and then going to New York for a few days!) Semesters are really not that long!
The existential part of me is thinking right now, "Fuck this paper! I don't care about this class! If it doesn't matter to me now, then in the scheme of things it doesn't matter at all. Love your family! They're great people and you need to be with them. You don't know what will happen tomorrow. We take life completely for granted. Things could happen that change your life forever. I hate thinking about that. Part of me wants nothing to change, to stop getting older, to stop my family from getting older, to keep things the way they are now, to not have to face death and change and those things that we don't like. But we have to. I just have to stop thinking about it."
"That is what people do. They stay alive for each other." The Hours
16 February 2007
itsoneoclock
Right now, things are great because:
Sigh! Life's good. Life is always good after Thursday.
Bon week-end!
14 February 2007
sharpen
This week has been the first week where things were expected of me. A written problem set for Economics, a first paper for Art History, and a first paper for Ancient Women (which we were given less than 48 hours to write... until so many people asked for an extension that it is now due next Tuesday, a boon for my health and sanity). For the last three days I have been sleeping little, running around, printing out copies and copies of my revised paper to edit, sending text messages complaining/apologizing for things I couldn't do anymore, and practically inhaling my meals and quickly getting back to work (quelle horreur! Je l'deteste). It's not a very efficient way to live, and I certainly wouldn't want to do it regularly, but it's mostly my fault. Thankfully, with the news this afternoon of the deadline extension, I am now free from the past 72-hour whirlwind of academic doom. It usually takes a "hell week" to kick me into a higher gear. From now on I won't be attempting to write a paper two nights before it's due, even if I was a good girl and did all my other homework to "remove all other burdens from my brain to aid the smooth formation of an excellent paper". Hah. All's well that ends well, but still, I don't like it when my mom thinks I'm hyperventilating.
Valentines Day fell on a rather busy day, so I kind of forgot it was in force until I saw lots of couples holding hands and girls carting boxes and flowers back to their rooms. There were yummy shortbread cookies and chocolate frosting and sprinkles for dessert in the dining hall, and my friends and I wallowed in our singleness by OD-ing on sugar. For some magical reason I didn't feel guilty after eating an unmentionable number of cookies... perhaps that's the allowance Saint Valentine grants to people who don't have someone over whom to lavish with kisses and pleasure. And I consumed both good quality dark chocolate and wine today... which is a better fare than years past. I am also sooooooooo relieved that I'm not slaving away over a paper right now that the lack of a man is okay... for this moment, anyway.
I saw The Vagina Monologues tonight at Pomona for the first time. It was so good! I was happy to see more than a few male bodies in the room. It's the kind of thing more men should see... they would learn a lot about women; good things, things they can put to good use. In many ways...
I met with the study-abroad advisor today. Lots of dicussion, especially choosing what kind of program and where in France I want to go - Paris, Nantes, or Aix-en-Provence. There are many factors and considerations to account for, and the actual location is only (a very important) one of them. I was (and am still) pretty sure that I know what I want... but then I spent a few hours after my meeting reading pages and pages of program evaluations from previous students, and now my head is spinning over things I hadn't even thought of before 9am today. Delightful!
And finally, my parents are coming this weekend for Parents Weekend! I am very excited to see them and show them a bit of "my world" here. They've never seen me happy in college before, and I'm excited to see them happy that I'm happy. If that makes sense.
It's been one of those weeks.
11 February 2007
truth
10:40 p.m.
God, I hate Sundays. I can't write my paper tonight because I'm not feeling it, so I'll do it tomorrow and that's fine but I now have nothing to do for two hours since I rationed out my homework over the last three days specifically to allow for the writing of my paper tonight. So I went to Keri's room and drank 1.5 glasses of wine, and talked to her about the triumphs and struggles of romance (in which she currently has an investment but I do not and this I'm bitter about). Tonight needs to end, so it will be tomorrow and I'll go for a run and do my laundry and shower and then go out into the world to class, like a normal college student, although not like a normal human being. Being in college is not like being in the real world. Which is fine, except for when it's not. March, where are you?
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I like rum.
I don't like dramatics.
I like my friends.
I don't like writing papers.
I like being young.
I don't like greasy hair.
I don't like missed opportunities.
I like my college. A lot.
I like more things than I don't like.
09 February 2007
steal
I just saved $13.19 on two bags of grapes!
Instead of being $8.82 a bag, grapes were on sale for $1/lb, so each bag was only $2.21! That is such a good deal!
I love saving money!
08 February 2007
triangles
It's been an eventful week.
04 February 2007
trenchcoat
Woot - I ran just under five miles within forty-eight hours this weekend. It's all relative, of course, but I'm proud. My two good friends Catherine and Keri ran a half-marathon in Huntington Beach today... those crazies. They're also running the full LA Marathon in four weeks. But I'm glad to be staying active and healthy. And Eva and I are talking about joining them this fall to train for a half-marathon. So who knows?
No new museums this weekend, although I went back to the Norton Simon for a few hours on Saturday just to get off-campus. And I saw Notes on a Scandal last night which was very good, although uncomfortable almost continuously. Staring at Judi Dench for two hours made me really not want to grow old. So much sagging! But I'll take that over being psychotic and obsessive any day.
01 February 2007
confidence
French is challenging but so much fun. Somehow I feel more complete now that I'm finally learning one of the most influential languages in the world. Everything you say sounds like you're making love... even the word for 'garbage can', la poubelle, could be an endearment.
I slept for two hours this afternoon, and the first thing I thought when I woke up was that what I really want is "sexcuddlebathbed".
It's already the first of February. Where is the semester going? Life is slipping away... people my age don't think like that, I know, but I do.
Modest Mouse's new single, Dashboard, is infectious. It's unlike their previous stuff in that it's actually... happy! Listen to it here.