23 September 2009

by night

  • I'm feeling the bullet points these days.
  • Makes it easier to lay out my thoughts. I also get to drop personal pronouns.
  • Turned down second interview; was the best thing to do. Feel great about it. I want to be in California.
  • Home was fun; I hung out with everyone (Mom, Dad and Hannah) in the four days I was here. Also, lots of food and sleeping in. When I'm in Claremont I subsist on raisin bran, pb&j sandwiches, and $2.50 chicken quesadillas.
  • Can't wait to get back to California and to Kevin tomorrow. The one fun thing about being unemployed is we get to live together (okay, so it's me in his dorm room, but there's a gorgeous view and it's free), and I like it. And I love him.




    21 September 2009

    lost and replenished

  • Stay optimistic.
  • Be pro-active.
  • Taking steps that seem daunting/scary/intimidating often leads to wonderful outcomes.
  • Make lists.
  • Rituals.
  • Frugality.
  • Letting go of things that you don't really need.
  • Music keeps the world spinning.
  • I'm on Twitter now? Late at night when you can't sleep it's awfully addicting.
  • It feels so good to reach out to someone (who used to be) close to you.
  • I can't wait until fall weather comes to Southern California. Today it was 90 degrees in Claremont.
  • Today had lunch with my three best girlfriends, all together for the first time since summer 2008 (I know, 2008! Alexis was abroad for the year, until about six weeks ago). Reminded me of how much I love life with good friends.
  • My boyfriend is the best.
  • Got into Phoenix tonight after a long, quiet drive. Interview tomorrow afternoon (well, I guess today. Actually in 12 hours). I hate to say this, but I just know I want to be in California right now. So why did I just drive all the way here? Sometimes you have to follow things to their natural conclusion, for the sake of formality.
  • Identifying the one small truth in the previous point makes me feel amazingly secure, despite the inherent insecurity of this situation.
  • I will return on Wednesday. California is my home now.
  • Things feel like they are sliding, albeit slowly, into place.
  • It is 3:16am and I don't really know what is going on here.




    18 September 2009

    beats and tunes

    Music I'm Digging These Days

  • Let It Die and The Reminder by Feist
  • Lost Souls by Doves
  • Chunk of Change and Manners by Passion Pit
  • Conditions by The Temper Trap
  • Our Thickness by The Russian Futurists
  • All We Could Do Was Sing by Port O'Brien
  • Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix by Phoenix
  • Hold Time by M.Ward
  • Miike Snow by Miike Snow
  • Do You Trust Your Friends? by Stars




    17 September 2009

    evidence

    For the first time in memory the rhythms of life in September do not revolve around returning to school. In August it felt so weird, but now that I have visited Kevin in Claremont and realized that nothing has changed - except me - I've been able to close the door and completely embrace the next chapter, which didn't happen until now because this summer was hard. Lee Vining was not the same as last summer, I was in a newish relationship that had to be conducted long-distance, I was on antibiotics twice in four weeks for a UTI and strep throat and missed ten days of work, I barely saw my family when they came up for 4th of July, and I felt trapped and confined being in the middle of nowhere for three months, as opposed to last summer when it was exhilarating and freeing. I started applying for jobs in Los Angeles at the end of July and continue to do so to this day... to no avail. There are simply too many job seekers and not enough jobs. I signed up with a legal temp agency in Los Angeles the other week, but nothing's come up yet. I am "living" at home in Scottsdale but spending about a week at a time living with Kevin at Harvey Mudd. He lives on campus with a roommate but it works out well, and although I'm heavily bored at points during the day it is nice to sleep next to a warm body at night.

    I am really trying to find a job in Southern California but it seems that the few forays into the Phoenix job market I made at the end of August, right after I got home, have actually been more successful than the dogged attempts I've made in LA for the last seven weeks. On Monday I have an interview for a position that actually sounds pretty great at a non-partisan, prestigious political weekly that reports the news of the Arizona Capitol. My problem (is it a problem?) is I have many interests and don't have a clear idea of what I want to do or what kind of place I want to work in, and I'm not sure a career in politics is something I'm interested in... but until I know otherwise I will take any opportunities that arise. I don't know if right now my desire to live in the LA area is greater than my desire to be employed... somewhere that is not Starbucks, be it in Phoenix or elsewhere. I have barely any money and am bored. Give me something to do!




    09 September 2009

    tarantism

    Looking for a job may be a full-time, unpaid and emotional venture, but at least it's not this bad.