23 March 2011
the klutz
In the last few years, I've begun to accept that I am a klutz. For the rest of my life before now, I was determined not to be a klutz, because klutzes are goofy and I am for sure not a goof. Dark, mysterious, alluring - yes; goofy - not in the vocabulary. But then I met Kevin, who fully embraced my klutziness and has turned my eye towards realizing it is okay to accept that I fall, trip, stumble, snag, slice my body into the world at such angles, speeds and velocities as to induce pain and/or embarrassment.
This morning at work I was reading a packet of paper very intently as I walked the maze from my desk around in curlycues to the copy machine and walked into the very chair I had been walking around for two days, since it was left in that position by some well-meaning but forgetful person. I was well aware of the chair, but with my head buried in fascinating paperwork I completely missed the opportunity to avoid the chair, and barreled at full speed (I am a fast walker) into its heavy metal frame. The rest of the day involved ever-growing bumps on my shin and entertaining the therapists as I propped up my leg on a chair while eating lunch, a Ziploc bag full of ice wrapped with my scarf that perfectly matched my fuchsia tights. When I got home, I removed my tights to see that I not only scraped up some skin but scraped off some skin in a separate place. This, keep in mind, while wearing tights.
Other maladies of note include: slicing my thumb with a knife while chopping swiss chard, through my nail and into the nail bed; a sore throat and phlegmy cough caught from my boyfriend, and a kinked knee that happened suddenly and mysteriously on Monday morning. Only today did the kink disappear, as suddenly and mysteriously as it arrived.
21 March 2011
curve ball
I am writing this at 7:19am to remind myself in the future why I eat the way I do.
Since mid-February, I have been reducing the amount of wheat in my diet. My last post included a sentence about it, but basically it meant that I ate up the sources of wheat/gluten in my house, stopped buying new products containing wheat/gluten, and bought gluten-free whole grains to substitute. Then I unconsciously stopped making these grains as often, to the point where now I eat grains once in a while but not regularly. I have not eliminated anything from my diet, just reduced. I know the slippery slope of elimination of entire food groups or "trigger foods". I can eat anything I want, but I 90% of the time I make choices that make me feel good and enhance my performance. Hence, a diet of lean protein (chicken, turkey, fish, eggs, cottage cheese, yogurt, milk), and unlimited vegetables and fruits. I also drink around 150 ounces of water a day. I have been able to increase my weekly exercise output to 5+ hours per week, and the intensity at which I can work out is steadily increasing. I wake up even earlier than I used to (around 5:30am) and am sleeping at least 7 but up to 9 hours per night. I recently bought the Precision Nutrition System to enhance my nutrition. My viewpoint is: If I'm working my ass off in the gym, I owe it to myself to eat the best way possible to make all that sweat, time and energy worth it. I want to look like a goddess.
So, hence the post at (now) 7:25am. This weekend marked the first time I ate a large quantity of sugar and white flour in a long time. Kevin was back after a week's break at home, my weekend revolved around multiple trips to the airport, I felt I deserved a treat after taking care of myself and my needs, doing some things that scared me (and enjoying them!), and a great week in the gym. The list includes two cupcakes, a chocolate croissant, a little pasta salad, a sprinkle of cinnamon sugar, and two cookies. Oh, and a latte. (I am exclusively drinking tea (black, herbal, green) now by choice, and loving it). I also ate a few larger meals instead of five smaller ones, as I have been doing. Side effects of this sugar intake (over only a 24 hour period) included feeling: unhappy, tired, lethargic, and bloated. Last night when I went to sleep, I knew from the way I was feeling then that I would have great difficulty waking up early to work out. And I did. I woke up at my usual workout time and knew "no way". I wanted to sleep forever. I finally got out of bed at 7am after a couple snoozes of the alarm, and half an hour later still feel like a rock. I have no energy and I still feel bloated. Facing the day - back to work for 7 hours - seems to be an insurmountable challenge.
Luckily I slept like the rock that I feel.
It's okay to enjoy treats. It's okay to go crazy. But I must accept that making that choice has consequences and that they will affect my emotions and performance up to 24 hours later.
A few weekends ago, I spent three days at the LAX Westin attending a workshop called "Celebrating Women: Regarding Ecstasy and Power". The focus of the weekend was understanding our personal needs and realizing how important it is - for our wellbeing, for the people around us who count on us, and for the universe - to fulfill them.
Today I'm going to balance myself out - nothing crazy, and nothing I don't usually eat, but being extra mindful of portions and nutrient timing. A small amount of dairy at breakfast and a big raw salad at lunch should get me started. Also, lots of water, deep breathing and acceptance. I plan to be back at home after a fantastic workout this exact time tomorrow.